FC/OC VS Battles Wiki

EQUINOX stares at the travesty in front of her, tucked deep into Alice’s walk-in closet, hidden away. It should be hidden away. EQUINOX hadn’t been looking for anything like this. She had been looking for somewhere to put some of her clothing, now that she’s moving in, and this… this thing just flopped out and coiled onto the ground. Like a real snake, except absolutely not, because real snakes don’t have tits.

EQUINOX nudges it with a foot, fearful. She has no idea why Alice would have something like this. What would she even do with something like this? It’s just for cuddling, right? It better be just for cuddling, because EQUINOX can’t really accept the thought of Alice being so desperate she resorts to doing that with a body pillow. But it’s a very suggestive body pillow. EQUINOX doesn’t even want to see what’s on the other side. This side is graphic enough.

It’s so big. Of course it is, since Alice is 8 feet tall, but there’s no way something like this is custom made, right? There’s gotta be other people out there who want to cuddle up to a thirty foot long snake woman. EQUINOX really hopes so, because if this is custom made, well… Alice has some very strong tastes. Well, it’s not like EQUINOX completely hates this, but it’s not like she ever felt the need to get a body pillow. It’s just a lot to process that Alice did. EQUINOX tilts her head at it, narrowing her eyes. It looks clean. Of course it is, Alice is obsessively clean.

“Hey, EQUINOX!” Alice, in the distance, nearing, the sounds of her footsteps louder and louder. Oh, god. EQUINOX looks down at the body pillow, and then at the doorway. There’s no way she could scoop this all up and hide it in time. So she just stands there, staring at the doorway with a blank expression on her face when Alice finally steps into the room. “There you ar - oh, uh…..” Alice’s expression immediately falls, a blush spreading across her face, as she notices what’s on the floor. She looks away from it, like she doesn’t want to be associated with it, and clears her throat, awkwardly.

“I, uh, see you’ve met Echidna.”

“You named your body pillow?”

“N-no, she’s from a manhwa! She’s a character!” Alice crosses her arms, and forces herself to make eye contact. EQUINOX holds her stare, incredulous. “She’s my favorite. I bought that a couple of years ago. I haven’t touched her - uh, it - in ages.” She glances down at it. “It’s nothing. Just put it away.”

EQUINOX puts her hands on her hips and grins as widely as she can manage. “Whaaaaaaaat? No, there’s no way I could just sweep her back under the rug. It’s not fair to have you act like a woman who had such a pivotal role in your life doesn’t exist! You need to talk about her, so you can properly move on.”

“Fuck off!” Alice slams the door to the walk-in closet shut. EQUINOX hears her stomping away, and giggles to herself, and then laughs, so hard that she falls against the wall and slides down to the floor.

Still giggling to herself, EQUINOX pulls the closet door open and stumbles after her, wheezing, “No, no, I’m sorry, Alice, I had to.” Alice stops in her tracks and turns around to glare at her, blushing violently. “It’s too easy, okay? I couldn’t not.”

“You’re so cruel,” Alice whines, but immediately she calms down, just a little. “I got her years ago, okay? Back when I was much less popular with women. It’s been a while since I took her out.” EQUINOX stares. “Okay, fine! I took her out last month! But I don’t DO anything with her! She’s just comfortable.”

EQUINOX shakes her head. “You make it too easy, you know.”

“Fuck you.”

EQUINOX falls against her, wrapping her arms around her waist and pressing her face to the top of her stomach. She’s so sturdy, so strong. After a long, exaggerated huff, Alice hugs her back.

And then, she mumbles, “I’m not getting rid of her.”

“Yeah, I know. She’s your truest love and all, right?” EQUINOX is shoved away for her trouble, and Alice stomps out of their bedroom.