User blog:Promestein/Starcross - Heated Gaming Moment

The sound of a loud crash sends a violent shock through EQUINOX’s body and puts every single one of her thoughts on hold. She almost drops her pen from her trembling hand, and slowly turns her head to the direction from which the sound came. Alice’s office. A few moments later, there’s another few crashes. Each, like the first, is loud enough to get to EQUINOX through the pounding of metal music that filtered through her headphones. They’re accompanied by enraged shrieks that no longer carry any meaning or words, but each is unmistakably Alice.

EQUINOX stares in the direction of the sounds for a moment, before slowly moving her attention back to the work that lay in front of her. The incomplete tool that Alice would use in her ambitions. It’s still mostly in the planning stages, so the majority of this work is pages and pages of schematics and ideas. She had been experimenting with trying to make a miniaturized, alchemy-based tokamak. Now, it’s impossible to focus enough. Her heart pounds in her chest. What should she do? If she doesn’t go, Alice might be angry. But if she does go, well… Alice is already angry.

She shoves the end of her pen into her mouth and begins chewing. It’s a lose-lose situation, EQUINOX realizes, as she mulls it over. Alice will definitely be angry if she doesn’t go to check on her. She is also definitely very angry right now, and has likely broken something. If it’s her own personal property, she’s going to be even angrier. Even though Alice would be easier to deal with if she broke something of EQUINOX’s, EQUINOX has enough selfishness still in her heart to hope that she didn’t. She also has enough to sit there, paralyzed by fear and indecision, gnawing on her pen.

EQUINOX is disgusted with herself.

Trembling, she steps away from her desk, taking a deep breath, trying to psych herself up. ''Come on, EQ. You can deal with this. It won’t be as bad if you go check up on her.'' Though every step is a struggle, the journey isn’t that long and only gets shorter with every movement. The door to Alice’s office is open. EQUINOX leans in, holding onto the frame, tightly, her knuckles blanching. What she sees inside is not exactly surprising.

Alice is leaning against the wall, an expression of frustration painted onto her face, with her thumbnail wedged firmly between her front teeth. The remains of a desktop monitor are scattered over the floor. The keyboard is lying in pieces, too. The mouse, embedded into the wall. All of those things are EQUINOX’s. Alice only has a laptop. EQUINOX only spares them a glance, though. All she can see is Alice, grinding her nail between her teeth until the thumb bleeds, glaring at her out of the corner of her eye.

EQUINOX trembles, feeling as if she’s going to scream at the slightest touch. But Alice only twitches her arm, shoving her thumbnail further up between her teeth. Even though she’s biting into her finger. Her expression shifts, angrier, angrier, angrier, and she takes in deeper breaths, slowly dropping her hand from her mouth. The blood drips into the carpet. In a quiet, level voice, Alice says, “Sorry about your monitor. I’ll buy you a new one. I didn’t damage the computer itself.”

The words barely process. EQUINOX’s heart is hammering, her brain and thoughts an indecipherable jumble. What even happened? She tries to stop herself from taking wheezing breaths, tries to keep her expression level. The latter is easier, though EQUINOX has clenched her jaw uncontrollably, so hard that she feels like she’ll crack her teeth, but she can’t stop the hyperventilating. In preparation for what will inevitably come, all the sensation bleeds from her body until it’s cold and dead. Until she’s just standing there like a zombie. Undead.

Tears prick at her eyes.

Alice’s eyes are closed. Her thumbnail has returned to its place between her front teeth, grinding out a steady rhythm. Then, she drops it, and, in a shakier voice, says, “Did you hear me? I said I’ll replace it, EQUINOX.” In response to her name, EQUINOX blinks, once, twice, and then nods. A very small nod. Her body feels frozen. She can barely do it. Her eyes creep towards the guts of her monitor. A dreadful resignment settles in her stomach, a cold, nauseating feeling.

“Could you… be a dear, and get me a bandage, please? I’ve broken my nail and cut my thumb.” Alice’s voice settles in through the haze, and EQUINOX’s eyes move back towards her. She blinks away tears, and nods, stepping away, slowly, without looking away.

“Uh, yeah.” Alice looks at her look she thinks she’s an idiot, and EQUINOX almost vomits when the terror it induces trikes her heart. She turns away, and walks, as fast as she can, to the bathroom. It’s not very fast. Her legs are barely listening to her. Once she’s there, EQUINOX swings the door shut and collapses against the sink, gulping in panicked breaths. The door slams into place. EQUINOX retches but nothing comes up, and she chokes out a sob. With a hand, she pushes her glasses out of the way and lets it come, for a moment, crying into her hand.

But she’s fine. It’s fine. The tears don’t last, and EQUINOX wipes them away before adjusting her glasses. She lingers, staring into her empty eyes, before dropping eye contact and looking at her hands. The ring, on her finger. What are you thinking, EQUINOX? She shakes her head and flicks herself in the forehead, stepping away to the medicine cabinet. Bandaids. Bandaids. Alice is a 30-year old woman. Why does she need a bandaid? EQUINOX had figured, long ago, that these were for Venus. They’re cute, the kind of bandaids you get for your kids. Snake-themed, of course. Now, she knows that Alice is the only one that uses these bandaids, and everyone else bleeds until the wound heals like a normal person. Even Venus.

EQUINOX strays from the bathroom, a small bandaid in her hand, and she finds her way back to the office room. Alice is awkwardly sifting through the remains of the monitor. “You don’t have to do that,” EQUINOX mumbles, in a small, hoarse voice, and Alice jerks her head up to look at her. “I got your bandaid.” She holds it out, trembling, and after one more glare, Alice snatches it from her and quietly applies it to her thumb.

“Thanks.” Her voice is calmer than before, but still terse.

EQUINOX swallows. “What… what happened?”

Alice glares at her, and doesn’t answer.

EQUINOX bows her head, apologetically.

Alice straightens up, standing all the way to her maximum height and staring down at her thumb, which she flexes, experimentally. Even though the wound is light, and even though she’s definitely taken worse, she fidgets with it, a small scowl on her face. EQUINOX chews on her tongue, and then says, “You don’t have to buy a new one. I can fix it.” She says it quickly, without thinking, but that’s okay. Alice will like this.

Another glare, and EQUINOX’s heart sinks. “I’ll buy a new one,” she mumbles, walking past. “You should focus on your work. Still on the planning stage, right?” Her words are accusatory, disapproving, and EQUINOX shrinks back, fearfully. She can see the next moments clearly. She regrets saying that. She regrets leaving the room. She regrets coming into existence.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” she says, over and over again, before Alice can lash out, and, thankfully, it doesn’t come. Alice just looks down at her, eyes narrowed, and stomps down the hall, already chewing on her bandaged thumb again. EQUINOX can hear the unspoken ‘you don’t have to apologize so much’, which is really just a ‘shut up and get out of sight’ , and she slinks back to her work, shooting one last glance at her monitor’s remains.