User blog comment:Promestein/Starcross - Birthday/@comment-28644276-20190302053450

On the city:

Well, this part further exemplifies the feeling of being utter irrelevant. It's rather interesting to read it in this way. I'm pretty sure (well, for me at least) someone who at least follows through would want to at least say one word to her or reach for a helping hand. At this point, Alice is innocent. She has literally nothing (as far as I'm aware of) to be hated for and we also know that these events are the ones that would lead towards her destructive path (both to the world, to EQUINOX and ultimately even herself) later on. But naturally you can't - natural order of things and common sense says that no matter what, it's like a whole detached world from the reader regrdless of their intentions.

...So you get a window into SOL's situation, and to understand what she's going through. Except this IS her world. And she feels utterly removed from it. Inconsequential. Not a part of it. No matter how much she reaches or tries to hope or expect anything, it won't happen. Nor does it seem to matter for her to even try to change it - that's just how it works.

This is the point where it speaks volumes to how much determination it took her to keep going despite it all, even under these circumstances. Which definitely is a part of what I admire in her character.

Forget about people - even things that before would feel so natural are not part of her life anymore. Because she has none. Each part of the world that she sees is a constantly reminder of this emptiness, yet she's forced to search for other people to observe because the emptiness of isolation would be just as bad, if not worse.

So the best worst part about it: This dream/memory takes place on her birthday, of all days. The day where she should feel the most needed and showered with affection from people who are close to her... Except all of that was stripped away. So her "present" is just another day added to this. At some point she mentions heaven and how if there was one Oh Solstice if only you knew she would have someone to share the experiences with - so it makes a nice parallel. It's almost like she subconsciously compares her current existence to a manner of hell.