User blog:Slapson/(predestination)

Yvonne jammed her thumbs into the eyes of a burglar, who thought she wouldn’t be home at this time of day. The man screamed as his sockets became a bowl and the mush that used to be his eyes was stirred together with blood, with Yvonne’s thumbs as the spoons mixing it all into a nice, thick batter. The last thing he saw was her fingernails splitting his pupils in half.

Of course, there were several ways this could play out, and she had to see all of them through.

Yvonne shoved a knife into the eye of a burglar, who thought she was sleeping. The man screamed as his socket became a bowl and the mush that used to be his eyes was stirred together with blood, with Yvonne’s knife as the spoon mixing it all into a nice, thick batter. The last thing he saw was her knife splitting his pupils in half.

It was just like this. Really, the logically possible situations were fine.

Yvonne Park (is shot by a burglar after confronting him invading her house in Berlin. || jammed her thumbs into the eyes of a burglar, who thought she wouldn’t be home at this time of day…)

There was no escaping them. Each individual moment was played out, cut, and layered over each other to her. Time seemed to stop, but it kept going all the same, with every moment never pressing forward, but always continuing.

Yvonne (jammed her thumbs || shoved a knife) into the (eye/s) of a burglar, who thought she (wouldn’t be home at this time of day || was sleeping)...

It was the ‘’’logically impossible’’’ where things started to get messy.

Yvonne (jammed her thumbs || shoved a knife || planted a bullet || planted a straw || shoved the fruit of a ‘’’Hura crepitans’’’ || etc) into the (eye/s || tongue || nostril || etc) of a (burglar || her husband || an assassin hired to kill her in order to prevent further movement of The Black Diamonds after uncovering the death-worship conspiracy || the abstract concept of ducks || the abstract concept of not ducks || etc), who thought she (wouldn’t be home at this time of day || was sleeping || was performing a dark ritual in order to summon Boognish which involved the sacrifices of X amount of children where X = any negative integer of children that is not zero or -Infinity || considering the nature of conceptual ducks || etc). The (man || god || etc) screamed as (his || her || their || its || etc) (sockets || nostrils || ears || mouth || teeth || throat || etc) (became a bowl || were filled with miniature suns || were filled with conceptual ducks || were filled up with concrete || etc) and the mush that used to be (his || her || their || its || etc) (eyes || ears || tongue || nose || existence) was stirred together with (blood || ichor || magma || conceptual ducks), with Yvonne’s (thumbs || knife || conceptual ducks) as the (spoon/s) mixing it all into a nice, thick batter. The last thing he saw was her (fingernails || knife || conceptual ducks) splitting his (pupil/s || torso || essence || atomic structure || soul || knowledge of who actually shot John F. Kennedy) in half...

There wasn’t really a way to avoid it, either. Of course, Yvonne was welcome to (try and fail) ordering all of her alternate bodies to (do something else || do nothing), but (do something else || do nothing) implies (do nothing || do something else) and other such variation in the realities that were always birthed when an other could occur.

Yvonne (jammed her thumbs into the eyes of a burglar-|| had tea with the nice old lady that lived next door- || jammed her tea into the nice old burglar that lived in her house. She and the burglar are then shot by the old lady, who proceeds to (run-||summon the dark gods with their corpses as sacrifice-) || jammed her old lady into Yvonne- || is the burglar who broke into Yvonne’s house and shot Yvonne- || Had her intestines gouged out by angry crows specifically trained by the burglar to commit murder in his place || Sent the burglar and the old lady through a portal into Hell- || forced the old lady to learn the Power Word of Death spell and made her speak it to the burglar and then to Yvonne herself- || stole every cotton swab on the planet and burned down every factory that produces cotton swabs with the burglar and old lady as her accomplices, with the final goal of murdering every world leader in order to become every world leader and declare the distribution and production of cotton swabs illegal in a money making scheme to sell them on the black market-)

It was a contradiction, or perhaps it made perfect sense, that this kind of power that made Yvonne (omnipotent || a slave), and she was cursed with it. Forever. It was boring.

Yvonne (splits the burglar apart by manually removing every atom that makes up his physical body- || gouges out his eyes and considers using his skull as a new container for her ant farm- || consults Zeus, king of the Olympians, for advice so she can date the burglar- )

Picture having several choices to make You pick one, but every other choice you could make was selected at once, with the consequences also happening at once, stretching out and layering each moment on top of one another, but never progressing forward. Every attempt to avoid this merely results in the consequence where its not. The afterimages of the past and future (pre-images?) Yvonne saw were rippling through, though only she could see them.

Yvonne was shot by a burglar trying to enter her home on September 6th, 1995. The murderer was never found.